On one’s looks
Dear Parents and Colleagues,
I still remember, years and years ago, that one of the best presents I was given by the Three Wise Men was a photo camera.
It was not the sleek digital kind you see today, but one that needed a roll of film. There was a tiny window at the top that told you how many pictures were left and once you had used them all, you had to take the roll to a shop to be developed. After waiting two or three days, you would finally get the photos back.
I have to admit, though, the results were not always great. Sometimes I would appear with my eyes closed, looking like I had just woken up from a nap. Other times, I would stare at a photo and think, “Wow, do my ears really look that big?!” And then there were the occasional disasters when the film got exposed to light by accident and all the photos turned into blobs of white.
Yet, there was something important about those developed photos: whether I liked how I looked or not, it was still me. There was no deleting, no filters, no retakes. What I saw was real, and I had to accept it.
Recently, TikTok announced new restrictions on beauty filters for teenagers, aiming to limit the unrealistic beauty standards these features create. These filters allow users to make their eyes appear bigger, their lips plumper, their skin smoother or even change their skin tone entirely.
What has happened between the days of developing a roll of film and accepting the unfiltered image as truly you to now wanting to transform your real self into someone entirely different?
While filters might seem like harmless tools for fun, many young people have admitted that after using them, they found their real faces “ugly.” The pressure on teenagers to maintain a polished physical appearance is immense, with social media often fuelling the idea that perfection is not only achievable but expected.
We are surrounded by industries dedicated to helping us “improve” how we look, reinforcing the message that who we are naturally is not good enough.
As parents and educators, we play a crucial role in fostering self-acceptance in our children. Self-acceptance does not mean eliminating every trace of self-criticism. It is about striking a balance. It involves recognising and appreciating our strengths while being realistic about our weaknesses, without letting them define our sense of worth.
By nurturing this mindset, we can help young people embrace who they truly are, rather than chasing an impossible ideal.
Francisco Escobar
Principal & Head of Pastoral Care